Letter from Hashem

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Anonymous

My Dearest Daughter,

You make Me smile every single day—just watching you out there in My world, shining your shine, makes Me happy. I invested the best of what I have in you; a soul so pure and sweet.  A deep spiritual side, so you can connect with Me.  Intelligence, which you don’t properly realize and value.  Tenacity, to help you get whatever you wanted.  Creativity, so you could start your own business and solve so many of the problems I send your way.  Talents, so you can reach joy.  I’m sorry you were prevented from playing music for so long, but your music floats up to Me, and I love it. I gave you a double dose of love—so you can share it with yourself and others. (I’m still waiting patiently on this one, but you’ll get it soon!)

I love your chutzpah; that you can be in the most challenging of situations and laugh.  I get it, I get you.  I also wanted to let you know that it’s ok to express the way you feel, it’s ok to feel and show your hurt and pain.  I can handle it; load it on!

When I see My daughter flying high on life, there is nothing that makes Me happier.  It’s like the world I created just for you is being used the way I intended it.

I love the conversations you have with Me and only wish that you could hear My reply.  Your sarcasm cracks Me up; when you look up at the sky and tell Me, “Nice joke!” I actually laugh and am so happy you can see the humor in every situation.   I have showered you with a ton of challenges; sometimes I was worried that perhaps I overdid it.  Deep down, though, I knew you would pull through.  Nothing would have saddened Me more than you ending your life before you blossomed and started to live.  I heard you crying all those years.  I cared, but I needed for you to gain strength and become the strong woman you are.  I felt guilty that I couldn’t sweep down and scoop you up to safety, because that is not what would have been in your best interest, even if you disagree with Me on this one.  Holding Myself back from helping and saving you has been one of the hardest things for Me.

I entrusted 3 of My most precious and challenging children to you, because I know you have what it takes to raise them well.  Your patience with them amazes Me.  I only wish you would believe, deep down to the bottom of your toes, you are the greatest mother these kids could ever have.  I smile when I see you dancing with them, not batting your eyes at their antics, your endless patience.  I wish I could physically hold your hand through all their tantrums and challenges, but know I am there, and you are not alone in this parenting thing.  They are going to turn out just fine.  Remember to express your appreciation and love of them every day.  They are only children, just like you are, and you are their anchor to life. 

I can’t share with you why I chose your parents for you, but it helped make a tikun for your soul so that we could be closer.  You learned a lot of good things from them.  You learned honesty and integrity from your Abba, and passion and closeness to Me from Mommy.  I handpicked them for you.  You might see Me as crazy, but I have My ways.

I gave you a challenging husband so that you would come to the point in your life where you were so uncomfortable, you would be forced to make changes and come to self-love. You learned so much about yourself and human nature from being married to him.  Perhaps another husband would have helped you feel more secure, but only because you are feeling so insecure are you able to build your inner security.  I’m sorry he neglected you for so many years.  He does have his challenges and shortcomings.  I’m sorry you felt alone, but know that nothing is further from the truth.  Your strength and resilience muscles are bulging.  You would not have been able to have muscles like that from a different man.  You must know that I am so incredibly proud of you for letting him back into your life.  Totally in awe that you can forgive someone who has hurt you so deeply, who abandoned you in your time of need, and you just allowed him back into your life.  Others may think you are crazy, I know you think you are… but I... I am in awe!  The more you believe that he is totally and utterly nuts about you, the more you will see it to be true.  He has such a hard time expressing it, but I believe he will be able to one day.  Be patient with him; He is beloved to me too.

I’m so happy you are taking the time at this stage in your life to work on your self-development.  I know many issues were too hard to deal with until now, but I’m so so proud that you care about yourself so much.  If you knew how much I cared about you, you wouldn’t believe it.   I do try to show it by giving you blessings and love every single day.  I am thrilled when you acknowledge it.  When you love yourself, nothing makes Me happier, for how could you not?  You are the most lovable girl I know.  If you knew the extent of My love for you, you would cry uncontrollably, because you would never have believed it possible.  You would never believe how anything and everything I have given you, challenges and gifts, are only given with love.

Thank you for taking the time to pray to Me every day.  It means so much to Me.  The fact that you try to connect to Me, reach out to Me and rely on Me really warms My heart, especially on your most difficult days.  It’s what a father wants most, the connection with such a special daughter.  I love you from here to the end of the galaxy—not that you can imagine how vast it is.  Your goodness is that vast, your potential to affect change is that great.  I believe in you every single day.  I don’t expect you to do it all at once; after all, you are only 36 years young. 

Hugs and kisses—you are always in My shadow and embrace.  I have your back—you do not see how much I orchestrate life so that things should work out for you.  If you had any clue, you would probably feel bad griping about anything.  Don’t worry, I can handle your gripes, as long as you communicate with Me and know that I’m here.  I always have been, and I always will be.

Love your true Father,

Always and forever,

Hashem

 

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Rochel Lazar